Spiced Orange Iced Coffee

Try it. Seriously. If you like spicy (robust, flavourful, not capsaicin) and oranges, you will like this. (Also assuming that you enjoy a cup 'o joe as much as I.)

That was simply a bonus side note.

Recently I have decided that I want to be fit and healthy. The battle has been just that, a battle. I love cake. I love chocolate. By love I mean, greatly enjoy consuming. Basically, I like to eat. I like to experience new food and flavours. On this journey I started June 03, 2012, I have dropped to about 210 lbs. For the previous decade I weighed about 240 lbs. The heaviest was 253 lbs in 2006 according to my primary physician. In 2007, I lost some weigh using Weight Watchers for three months getting to 224 lbs. Over a couple years it crept back up to 240 lbs.

Losing weight for my body size and shape was rather discouraging in the first go around. I lost 20 lbs and worn the exact same size as when I started. My friend who was doing it with me also lost 20 lbs. She went from a size 11/12 to a 5/6. I hardly thought that was fair.

LIFE IS NOT FAIR. -dad

On June 03, 2012, I was indulging in a piece of cheesecake left over from a friend's birthday party. I was chatting with my dear friend, Lorena. She lost 50 lbs over about a year and half. She didn't start for any reason other than to support her hubby in his weight loss. As the pounds came off, she liked how she felt. At 46 years old she was in the best shape of her life. Talk about inspiration.

Not many women have been giant their whole lives, like me. Example. Sixth grade - I was wearing an adult 12 in pants. I was about 5'6" or so. I weighed nearly 180 lbs. I wore a size 11 shoe. See giant.

Today I am 211 lbs, wear a 12 or 14, and a size 13 shoe. I am 5'11".

My goal - to be able to the Tough Mudder event in North Carolina the first weekend in November.

So I bought a scale to keep better track of my weight loss progress. I spent way too much on it. After another conversation with my dear friend, Lorena, I was convicted. I am not being a good steward of my finances. I should have gone to Ross and bought a similar scale for half the cost. Why do we have people do this? We set ourselves up for failure.

I want to be healthy. I know that gluten is not good for my overall well being. Yet I regularly eat chocolate chip cookies. I would like to blame that on Chuck for becoming the Otis Spunkmeyer distributor in OK. But really it is a lack of discipline. We know there will be temptations. But we make it worse for ourselves. I knew scales at Ross would be cheaper than Target, yet where did I go to look for one?

I Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man ; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." I Corinthians 10:13

If you are tempted by indulging in delicious baked goods, you do go to Panera or La Bagette to use the WIFI. Come on, now. Don't give the devil a foothold in your recovery.

An Introduction to Practical Discipleship

Kari Jobe has a simple song. It carries me gently into a place of serenity.  There is nothing deeply profound in the lyrics. It is is no more than an honest reflection of a relationship to Christ. In Christ's relationship to us, He is unchanging. He love for you remains despite what you do, say, or think. The changing aspect of this street is us. The human. We change. We live by emotions and desires, selfishness. Christ is always there wanting us to run to Him. 

The more I seek You,

the more I find You.

The more I find You, 
the more I love You.

I wanna sit at Your feet
drink from the cup in Your hand.
Lay back against You and breath, 
hear Your heart beat.

This love is so deep, 
it's more than I can stand.
I melt in Your peace, 
it's overwhelming.

For those who have experienced the intimacy with Christ, this resonates.  You know the peace Christ brings. This morning at the funeral of Wanda Spiva my friend, Pastor Kenny, spoke of words she said to him nearly 45 years ago. Wanda said, "I love Jesus and I know he loves me." There is no doubt in my mind that Jesus loves you (me). However, for many, too many, this is not a confidence. 

I venture to say the lack of confidence in the One True God, YHWH, is a lack of discipleship. We often tell new Christians to read their Bible and pray. Talk about a daunting task. "Here take these 66 books and read them, start towards the end. Then talk to the Creator of the universe, like an old  friend, about any thing. Everyday." We (older followers of Christ) leave the "working out of one's salvation" to the little ones. There are times when a child needs to figure out things on their own. But you don't leave a child alone to figure out how to survive. We teach children. We raise them. This is lacking amongst the followers of Christ. 

"Here's How" written by Lee Brown 

A friend of mine recognized this area of concern (along with numerous mentors). Through this concern and his experience of going through an organized discipleship with a professor at MACU, birthed the desire to share how this structure deepened his walk with Christ. This is not a workbook Bible Study. This is not stringent process. It is a guided path with encouraged accountability to discipline, to know Christ more. Remember the song. "The more I seek You, the more I find You. The more I find You, the more I love You." On this journey, you will find confidence to "know that Jesus loves you."

Pastors, leaders, teachers, mentors, parents, humans - need this. We need discipleship. We need to seek God more. We need to guide others on this journey.  

Here's where I am at: I have been a follower of Christ for 20+ years yet I have times when I think, "Where in the world to dive in this time?" I remember being thwarted by the "read your Bible every day" rule.  As I work through this process in order to guide others, I am reading Nahum. I am going to work my way through the minor prophets. It is time that I familiarize myself with these writing. 

The Fire Hydrant Speaks

As I drove to the coffee shop today, I was delighted to see synchronized driving of two garbage trucks. The child in me greatly enjoys the simple pleasures like cars moving perfectly together like the a marching band during the halftime show at a football game. Today, I am humbled by the sight of God gently orchestrating creation - the trees fluttering in the Oklahoma breeze, the birds gliding like ballet dancers across the plainly decorated stage, the sun's understanding warmth on this brisk spring day, and the sweet taste of cafe sua da that warms my heart with placidity. How I am reminded of God's love for His creation as I am able to just be still and enjoy basking in His goodness.

I asked last night after two major changes in my life, "Lord, what do you have in store for me?" There was a great peace than came upon me before, during, and after changes became known that provoked me in a sweet calmness to ask this of my Lord. I felt as if I should have wanted cry and wimper notes of fear. Though I had no need to fear as the peace of the Holy Spirit came upon my innermost being. The weight on my soul had been lifted. The load I felt I must bear - gone. The freedom in Christ renewed my heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Romans 12:1-2, "Therefore I urge you, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your Spiritual act of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

I shall continue to ask, "Lord, what do you have in store for me? For I know it is beautiful." I love that song that says, "You make beautiful things out of us (or dust)." ((I am terrible with remembering lyrics.))

Lessons from Mr. Strickland

It's all in the way that you think about peoples that often determines their behavior.

on "the poor" - Give them expectations, enthusiasm, flowers, and music. - Because they are worth it.

You must be prepared to act on your dreams just in case they do come true.

You must see his slides. They are changing America's inner cities.

Kudos to Local Business - Moore, OK

The Cupcake Lounge
304 N. Telephone RD, Moore, OK (FREE WIFI)

This business is located on Telephone RD just south of N. 5th ST. Alecia, the owner, is cupcake genius. (That a huge compliment coming from a cupcake extraordinaire such as myself.) The Cupcake Lounge had been open for about 4 weeks. One this, my forth visit, I had one called "Purple People Eater". It is a blackberry cupcake topped with blackberry cream cheese frosting and a fresh blackberry! Amazing.

Alecia is creative in her favor options everything from "Dreamcicle" (orange and vanilla) to "The King" (banana and chocolate). All of the cupcakes can be made in sugar-free and gluten-free varieties. (These need to be special ordered. Though every Saturday she features one sugar-free flavor and one gluten-free flavor.)

The atmosphere is The Cupcake Lounge is pleasant. Couches, comfy chairs and tables fill the large space so there is space for families and friends to sit and enjoy their cupcakes and coffee. Check out the Facebook page for more information.

More on Education

I like to learn something everyday. Sometimes it is little, like the favorite color of a friend or a random fact. Pero - sometimes it is huge - earth shattering, even. This happened. I learned something -  something about myself that has changed my world. Years ago someone told me that I am good writer. I chose not to believe him. I had already decided years before that writing was not really my cup of tea. It was my freshman year of college during or shortly after my first college level English class. I earned a D.
I may be blame absences or whatever, but the fact is I never received a decent grade on any paper the whole semester.  (Here's a secret: I say that I didn't do homework. But that fact is I do, with exception for math classes for I do not like to waste my time*. I just don't always turn it in.) See, my last year in high school I had some amazing teachers who inspired me to want to write. I liked writing. Then college happened. I was a baby writer at that point, trying to find my style.  It was at this time that I chose to not be a writer.

I know. I have a blog. I had a xanga page. I get it. Regardless, writing is scary.

 - - -

At work I have been developing curriculum for tutoring. I started doing it to provide an excellent (or at least decent) tutoring time at my site. Left turn at email the boss, and know I am working on developing a few hundred lessons. Don't be too impressed it is a long project with various people working it. Either way, I submitted my first six lessons on Monday. Shortly thereafter my boss told me the lessons were excellent. Perhaps it was not the actual writing that is good- editing is not my friend. I will take the compliment on having good ideas. Grammar is one thing - but ideas cannot be taught. I was excited. 

Education

Some one once said to me "Don't let schooling interfere with your education." Which was great advice while I was in school, but now I haven't this excuse. In the last two and half years since ending my 22 year career of being a "student" I feel as if I almost wasted the thousands of dollars spent on my degrees. Not that this deters me from wanting go back to a Master's degree. However, I reflect positively on my "life experience" opportunity before going back to school. Going straight from undergrad schooling to graduate level work without this break would have, in my opinion, been a severe waste of money. I cannot imagine living for 26-27 years with 25 years of school and have such limited opportunity to use it. What is the value in that? What is the point of gaining knowledge without allowing the skills and information to overflow from to you?

I dare to say that it would have been a selfish move to continue in schooling. I spent years learning God's Word and how to care for people, yet had I not stopped "learning" to do it, what would the point have been. Not that I even ceased to exist in a community while in school, but the realization and actualization of my "education" over the last two and half years has been incredible.

One day I shall return to the campus of a university and work toward earning a Masters degree, but what would the point be if did not take the time to understand the people I say I love and desire to serve. If I choose not to learn first hand how people behave and respond, I have wasted a lot of money and, more importantly, time.

Golly Deer

The last time I was Ihop this late was when I was filling out the application for my current job. (That was one process of an application 8-) But here I find myself three months later, exhausted, a little sick, sitting at Ihop working (more like I will be working a few minutes), the same waitress and now with something sticky on my jeans from the bottom of the table. Sick. Not of fan of sticky. Coincidentally, I am now reminded of the theme for the lesson I should be planning-bees. I am not sure how I have gotten so far behind. I shall blame genetics. *Oh how I enjoy baby pancakes.*

I am going to finish my lesson plan that is due tomorrow. I don't understand naturally organized people. I am not sure how I would function if there wasn't a light level of chaos in my life.

Asi es la vida--para mi.

For real, I haven't a thing left to say about this subject matter. Adios

Estoy en la niebla. Estoy confundida.

I am having a hard tie explaining this haze that I am in. (Sorry for the preposition ending sentence.) I have no doubts that I made the right decision to leave the Peace Corps, as hard as it was to make. But I keep thinking I am going to wake up from a dream. That is the best way I know how to describe it. I wish that I knew how to explain what I am thinking/feeling. But, alas, I cannot. The best I can do, now, is pick up the pieces and reassemble the puzzle. I had worked so hard to get together the pieces I knew. There was a section I thought I understood. I saw what I wanted to see. So I barrowed pieces from another's puzzle and used them for mine. Now that I have removed the wrong pieces I need to find the correct ones and fix the damage done by forcing together the pieces that did not fit.
I could not, cannot see what the picture is turning out to be. Perhaps that is part of the reason I used the wrong pieces to fill in what I wanted to see. Now I remained curious as to how my mistake has effected those whom I love and who love me. Where do I fit in your puzzle?

I think that part of my haze is that I have a special "gift" to take on the problems of the world as my own personal problem. I can be easily guilted into giving away all my resources to make someone's life better without regard to my personal safety and security. I do not say this to boastful in anyway. I just have a skewed sense of what it is to be selfish/selfless.

The most prevelent problem I am facing is that I try (" . . .to say goodbye and I choke. I try to walk away and I stumble. . ." Sorry, I randomly burst out into song.) to do this on my own. If there is one thing I learned in my time in Guatemala, it is that doing it would other people makes it easier. Basically, we are created for community. Community with people. Community with God.

I wish that I could stop feeling this way, this haze. But I cannot. It is the same part of me that make me good at what I am meant to do. Sometimes our strengths can be weaknesses.

Big Plans

This is not super concrete, but Amanda and I are going to start baking cupcakes and selling them. The cupcakes are going to über cute and super delicious! Everything from Simple Vanilla with Buttercream to Vanilla Latte to Beary Chocolate to holiday themes for our favorite time of the year....October-December. Then in 10 years we are going to open a store selling our wonderful baked goods, fabulous coffee and tea, and cute crafty things, like buttons and paintings and scarves. It is going to awesome as a true teen from the recent turn of the century would say.

Blueberry Muffins

Sweet Potato Pie

BUTTONS!

Faux Sushi

Latte Art

The Master Minds

Something that came to me the day in the shower . . . just slightly expanded

What do you think about legislating compassion and good works? Is it beneficial to make doing good a legal requirement? How does that change the action? Does it lose something in that? Should only "laws" be more the "don't do this" instead of the "you must do this" type?

I think if we legislate kindness we strip it of its value. I am all about helping people.

As a child if I shared my special treat with my brother that I bought with the money I earned , my parents would have said, "Nevan, that is generous act of kindness. We are proud that you choose to do that." However, if I didn't share the special treat I earned I was not sent to my room for being a bad sister. If I had been reprimanded for my lack of kindness, then the next time I had the opportunity to be kind I would have done it out of fear of reprimand, not of the love for my brother and the joy of giving.

In this I am reminded of God's grace. It is not by good works that we are saved, but through his loving kindness. It is out of the love He bestowed on us that we desire to do good and share kindness with others. Being good out of the fear of going to hell is not beneficial.

If you were hungry and I made you sandwich while grumbling, "Since I have to", you would feel as if I served you. (Unless you are narcissistic.)

If you were hungry and I made you sandwich while I enjoyed a conversation with you, you would leave feeling worthy. If then I made you sandwich for later, how much more would that bring joy to your heart. Then later when you decide to eat that second sandwich, you be remember that I cared for you. And I would be thankful that you were able to eat again. But if you took that sandwich and shared it another while sharing the kindness bestowed to you, I would be even that much more thankful, for two got be satisfied instead of one.

I must go get ready for the rest of my day.

I can never spell my password correctly.

Really, that has nothing to do with anything. It is just annoying.



I have decided to purchase a vehicle. I am going to be looking for a cheap used car, preferably with a standard transmission. My dream car is a Toyota Camry, standard transmission, 1988-1992 body style. Though I am not that picky at this point. I am still going to get a bicycle.



If you are interested in throwing your life into a whirlwind, I would like to suggest a book. "Cure for the Common Life" by Max Lucado. I am not typically a Lucado fan, but I am enjoying this book for the most part. I am in the process of figuring what I do well and the reward I get from it. I don't know myself as well as I thought I did.

Have you ever had those days when everything needed to get done at the same time and nothing could get done because something was preventing it from happening?