When the Saints . . .

I have to share the burden that is upon my soul. Friday was difficult. I was at work way too late. I was annoyed with may trivial things. On Saturday, I slept until 12. Mildly thankful, I was embittered because I wanted to spend more time a wake with myself. I don't not get much time to do be. Saturday morning from the time I wake up until about 3:00pm is mine. If I schedule something for a Saturday, feel privileged. When it was all said and done, I had two hours. Two precious hours to sit, eat a cupcake, drink coffee, go shopping, and be. I chose to enjoy every moment of mine time. 

Then Saturday night came. Fail! The credit cards were messed up at the restaurant. We did 3x times as much from 5:30-10:00 as they did from 11:00-5:30. Please note those times. It was crazy. And I saved over $140 in labor for the evening. I got out an hour later that I usually do. Ridiculous. 

Then came Sunday. I love Sundays. I went to pick up a dear friend at the airport and go to hear stories and see pictures of the adventures from the past month. I was honored to hear about her dreams and goals for the next stage in her life. We decided to go to church at LifeChurch.TV. The sermon was dead on to what I needed. If you remember what I mentioned at the beginning of the post, Friday I was a jerk. Well, Sunday was the slap in the face that I needed to rid myself of the selfishness that was quickly settling into my heart. 

Monday morning I got a text that read, "Pray for Austin. He is in critical surgery at OU Medical." WHAT! Emergency surgery at OU is never a good thing. Long story, short - Austin lost his life that day after a series of bad choices, freak incidents, and 8 hours of surgery. I spend several hours with people who were affected by this tragedy and more time processing this for myself. How quickly life can change. 

Which is where is song comes into play. See, on my way to work I had listened to this song. As the song played, my heart began to pour out anguish. This song speaks straight from my heart. I have a blessed life. My life was good. (Please don't lecture me on comparisons.) The hurts in my life are so trivial compared to the things that millions of people have battled and still battle today. I have nothing to complain about. (Sure, I don't have butt fans in my car.) "Lord, I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know . . ." Every day I see and hear stories of heartache and tragedy. I don't know how people make it without Jesus as their center. 

I cannot begin to fathom the pain of losing a child, much less two. I cannot begin to fathom having a relationship end with regrets or open plans to spend time together. 

I implore you to search your heart. How does this change you and your life? Are you spending time whining about all "sewage" in your life? Our decisions, our actions have a greater effect that we can ever possibly know while on this temporal earth. My prayer for my life, is that I live to a life pleasing to the Lord, sharing the message of His love to "all who will hear" (Luke 6:27a). Even in the worst of time, I shall praise the Lord. "When sorrow like sea billows roll

I still want those new shoes and coffee. But my life is still blessed without 'em. Read this song, buy it on itunes, listen to it - It is pretty good. 

When The Saints

By Sara Groves

lord i have a heavy burden of all i've seen and know it's more than i can handle but your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones and i can’t let it go and when i'm weary and overwrought with so many battles left unfought i think of paul and silas in the prison yard i hear their song of freedom rising to the stars and when the Saints go marching in i want to be one of them lord it's all that i can't carry and cannot leave behind it all can overwhelm me but when i think of all who've gone before and lived a faithful life their courage compels me and when i'm weary and overwrought with so many battles left unfought i think of paul and silas in the prison yard i hear their song of freedom rising to the stars i see the shepherd moses in the pharaohs court i hear his call for freedom for the people of the Lord chorus x2 i see the long quiet walk along the underground railroad i see the slave awakening to the value of her soul i see the young missionary and the angry spear i see his family returning with no trace of fear i see the long hard shadows of calcutta nights i see the sister standing by the dying man’s side i see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor i see the man with a passion come kicking down that door i see the man of sorrow and his long troubled road i see the world on his shoulders and my easy load

Really?*

I said that many times today. I simply do not understand some people. I also think I was wearing a sign that said "Be mean to me." Why are people so selfish? Then refuse to listen to reason. UGH. It came to the point where I wanted to say "Just leave, I'll do it myself."  Then I ended up doing half of it myself anyway.  There is no point to do it half when someone just has to come back and redo it. UGH.

On a happy note: I am running in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in the morning. I pray for a pleasant race, pain free feet, and a good day at work the rest of the day. And maybe, just maybe coffee with a friend in the evening.

*This in way means that people do not say it to me occasionally (or often).

Make Art, Not War, Buy New Shoes

I did it. I bought a pair of TOMS. The TOMS company gives a pair of shoes to a a person in need of shoes (in foreign countries) for every pair of TOMS sold. It is a way for do gooders to feel as if they really helped someone. --Wait, I know. Call me cynical. But hear me out.--Why in the world do I need to buy another pair of shoes for $50+ when I could just buy 5 pairs of shoes and mail them to South America or Africa my self. I do not know many people that can afford to buy TOMS that really needs another pair of shoes.--Yet I bought some.--You can call me cynical or whatever now. The shoes are not terribly ugly. And really I only bought them because I had a gift card to this shoes store and couldn't find any other decent (cute, everyday, wear with jeans) shoes in my size. It quickly limits my selection to shoes styled with a guy in mind, not a young, hip female. I think the shoes I left with fit my personality.

By the way--the flag says "peace" in Italian. I bought it in Florence, Italy in 2004. And my unmade bed which normally doesn't look like that. But I have not felt well.