Spiced Orange Iced Coffee

Try it. Seriously. If you like spicy (robust, flavourful, not capsaicin) and oranges, you will like this. (Also assuming that you enjoy a cup 'o joe as much as I.)

That was simply a bonus side note.

Recently I have decided that I want to be fit and healthy. The battle has been just that, a battle. I love cake. I love chocolate. By love I mean, greatly enjoy consuming. Basically, I like to eat. I like to experience new food and flavours. On this journey I started June 03, 2012, I have dropped to about 210 lbs. For the previous decade I weighed about 240 lbs. The heaviest was 253 lbs in 2006 according to my primary physician. In 2007, I lost some weigh using Weight Watchers for three months getting to 224 lbs. Over a couple years it crept back up to 240 lbs.

Losing weight for my body size and shape was rather discouraging in the first go around. I lost 20 lbs and worn the exact same size as when I started. My friend who was doing it with me also lost 20 lbs. She went from a size 11/12 to a 5/6. I hardly thought that was fair.

LIFE IS NOT FAIR. -dad

On June 03, 2012, I was indulging in a piece of cheesecake left over from a friend's birthday party. I was chatting with my dear friend, Lorena. She lost 50 lbs over about a year and half. She didn't start for any reason other than to support her hubby in his weight loss. As the pounds came off, she liked how she felt. At 46 years old she was in the best shape of her life. Talk about inspiration.

Not many women have been giant their whole lives, like me. Example. Sixth grade - I was wearing an adult 12 in pants. I was about 5'6" or so. I weighed nearly 180 lbs. I wore a size 11 shoe. See giant.

Today I am 211 lbs, wear a 12 or 14, and a size 13 shoe. I am 5'11".

My goal - to be able to the Tough Mudder event in North Carolina the first weekend in November.

So I bought a scale to keep better track of my weight loss progress. I spent way too much on it. After another conversation with my dear friend, Lorena, I was convicted. I am not being a good steward of my finances. I should have gone to Ross and bought a similar scale for half the cost. Why do we have people do this? We set ourselves up for failure.

I want to be healthy. I know that gluten is not good for my overall well being. Yet I regularly eat chocolate chip cookies. I would like to blame that on Chuck for becoming the Otis Spunkmeyer distributor in OK. But really it is a lack of discipline. We know there will be temptations. But we make it worse for ourselves. I knew scales at Ross would be cheaper than Target, yet where did I go to look for one?

I Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man ; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." I Corinthians 10:13

If you are tempted by indulging in delicious baked goods, you do go to Panera or La Bagette to use the WIFI. Come on, now. Don't give the devil a foothold in your recovery.

I am a harlot.

And I don't mean the nymphomania type, but a harlot none the less. I am unfaithful. There is little in this world that can cause me to fall into this like the issue of money to be only magnified by the fact that I rely on the generosity of strangers to provide the money on which I need to survive.

The other day as I began work I had a spirit of anxiety hovering in heart. Things were slow as the restaurant had been for the last week or so. I only made $38 in my two previous shifts combined. I was hoping to catch up for it was Friday evening. I don't have a car again so I was thirty minutes late to work. (Thirty minutes in this business can be an extra $20 dollars in your pocket.) The longer I as there the more anxious I became. I finally "got a table", two in fact. Then three. T1 leaves-11%ish. T2-0%. (Then we subtract tip share and I earned a whopping 3.5% of my total sales. Translate this into dollars/hour, I earned a grand total of $4.28 for the first hour I worked.) 

By this point I felt completely defeated. I am a good server. Not the best, by far. But I am good. There have been times when something happens and I completely understand why someone would want to leave me a little tip. But then there are those times when it just doesn't not make sense. Greeting was good, drinks were perfect, food came out quickly, extra napkins, straws, kindness, I said "thank you" and "your welcome", I gave change in a combination of 1s and 5s so that there was an adequate number of bills to leave me a 3% to 33% tip. At this rate there is no way I can afford to have an apartment.

As I began to lose hope in humanity, T3 returns to me the credit card receipt and said "I am sorry. I normally bring enough money to leave a decent tip in cash, but I don't have enough tonight. So I had to leave a tip on the credit card. I am sorry." I politely said "thank you very much. I hope you have a pleasant evening," while thinking to myself, 'great. another sucky *** tip'.  I walked back to the wait station before looking at the numbers just in case it brought me to tears. The whole time thinking, 'I can't do this. I am just not earning enough money. People are jerks." I know times are tough. They are tough for me too. I am not demanding your money. It is part of it.

"Tips" means, "to insure proper service". I can almost guarantee I earn 18%-20% regularly because I pretend that is what I am going to make at every table. I give them that kind of service preempting a positive response on the part of the person in which I am serving, taking into account the all the various wants of table. Some people want business only, almost as if we are not people, which is okay. Some want to chat for 20 minutes and tell their life story, like I am there one and only friend, which is okay.

When I opened the receipt, I saw an almost 40% tip glaring back. Then in what I might have sworn was an audible voice, "Nevan, I will take care of you. Are you not more precious than the sparrow?" Oh, snap. I am a harlot.

I don't talk to Him. I curse His Name. I do not bring glory, honor, or praiseworthy things but shame and filth as offerings. Yet, He is always faithful. Then we act accordingly, when we are obedient, we became the hands that help another. The hands are remind another that God is faithful and all-loving, that He has not forgotten about us.  Disobedience to Christ is reflected as selfishness. I challenge for myself is to faithfully give to other, resting in the knowledge that God will give to me and provide me with all that I need.

I spend over $50 on coffee in the last month! Not including coffee at home, coffee bought with cash, coffee bought with a gift certificate. Perhaps I should cut back a bit. Whoever thought it was a good idea that I live within 1/2 mile of Starbucks and work with in 1/4 mile of another cafe was wrong. Maybe I will just have coffee at home.

Let's be for real, it is not the same. Maybe I will just cut back to one latte a week.
I really want a 1/2 sweet vanilla soy latte.

It seems like forever since I last posted. Nothing super exciting has really happened since then.
I bought a chino blazer from Eddie Bauer that should be here today. I also paid my rent.  Oh and my loan company sent me notification that must start payment on my loans. The funny part is that I my first due date was in July. I have already made several payments. Then randomly in the last month over $1000 in interest was capitalized. Though three months ago, none was capitalized.  Basically, I have decided that Nelnet SUCKS at communitcation. On my last statement it says I owe $260ish by 9/15, my online account summary says I owe $330 by 10/15. I don't get it.   I have been paying ahead so it is not that big of a deal, however it is seriously annoying. I wish they would sell my loans to the Department of Education. They are super easy to understand and are 1000x nicer when I call. Ugh.  The way it looks from here is that I will be dealing with Nelnet for atleast the next 10 years!! Annoying.

I am trying to decide to enter the new Income-Based Repayment for my student loans. If I do, I think I my payments would be $0. I feel weird not paying anything at all. So far it has not been terrible terrible paying each month. Until this month anyway. I didn't have the money until after the due date. I hate that. It was one three days late. I think if do IB repayments I can still pay without worrying about having the money until after the due date. Living paycheck to paycheck is not fun. And I don't even have that many bills. I owe about $400 a month in loans. Currently I make about $1200ish a month. I am not asking for someone to fix this issue. But I am curious to know what you think about dept repayments. I don't really see anything negative about Income-Based Repayment. My only troubling thought is how would it effect me and the Peace Corps.

Speaking of that, I need to do some volunteering with hospice. Wish me luck.