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Thursday, August 13

So....I am learning how to let go. Of people, of objects, of feelings. It is weird. I have this silly little pony my best friend from elementary school gave to me before she moved to California. Every time I see that little "my little pony", I think about all the great times we had walking around the playground talking about life. One time we decided to spend all of our recesses cleaning up trash from around the field and playground. We found a mattress spring and dug it out of the ditch.

My favorite memory that cause me to giggle is this one from the end of forth grade. Chandra, my bf, and I were walking around the hotel that my mom was staying. We wondered in to the lot were the school buses (i think) were kept. Our conversation had a serious tone. I do not remember exactly what we were talking about, something like medicine, asthma, and doctors. I remember saying something to effect of "why can't they see/understand?" I believe we were trying to figure out why the adults couldn't see something that was so obvious to a 10-year-old. Oh the drama. Chandra and I were also so serious. I wonder what she is doing now. I have not seen her since that day in 1996.

I argue with myself often as to whether or not I should get rid of this "my little pony". She gave me that pony. I have had it for 13 years already. I never even really played with "my little pony" dolls unless I was at her house. I also played with Barbies at her house. I didn't like that stuff other times. It would be way difficult for me to just throw that in the waste basket. Partly because of the memories attached, and partly because it is a perfectly good "my little pony" doll that some 4-8 year old girl could play with.

Every time I write a sentence that ends with a preposition, I think of Mrs. Starkey, my high school English 2 teacher. And each time I feel like I disappointed her again.

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